It seems all angles to the 2015 Nigeria's general elections debate, where the retired Head of States Major General Muhammad Buhari of the All Progressives Congress (APC) won convincingly has been exhausted. Which then leaves President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan of the People's Democratic Party (PDP) who conceded defeat by calling to congratulate Buhari even before the electoral commission (INEC) was done with the counting of votes cast, to conduct a handing over of government by the 29th of May 2015.
Friday, May 15, 2015
GEJ, TINUBU: Good servants of God?
It seems all angles to the 2015 Nigeria's general elections debate, where the retired Head of States Major General Muhammad Buhari of the All Progressives Congress (APC) won convincingly has been exhausted. Which then leaves President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan of the People's Democratic Party (PDP) who conceded defeat by calling to congratulate Buhari even before the electoral commission (INEC) was done with the counting of votes cast, to conduct a handing over of government by the 29th of May 2015.
Friday, July 3, 2009
WHO WAN’ DIE?

“Who is next on the line…please, when my water boil, you’ll permit me to take my bath
” Papa begs the queuing tenants who are preparing for their early morning chores while others are on queue waiting to take turn in the bathro
om. Normally, the toilet, or shall we say bathroom… well, it’s all inclusive depending on which one you want to do, bathing or poopooing. The only
snag is that you have to use your wrapper or towel as the door.
The toilet is an arrangement
of rustic zinc with inclusion of planks
in some parts. At the mere hint of wind, the
bathroom squeaks, dancing easily as if it will soon collapse. Sponge, che
wing sticks, tooth or toilet brushes even serviette and newspapers are stuck o
n the iron wall of the bathroom making the intending users feel ‘c
omfo
rtable’.
“Emeka, move forward now” “Papa, I no fit move forward pass dis one o” Emeka whispers to another tenant. “Are you serious…
?” the tenant retorts. Just as the whisper was done, Soibifaa, a frail looking figure, emerges under the wrapper-door and everyone on queue scampers for safety. For a while, Soibifaa stands mortified, looks at all of them with disdain, hisses
as he removes the wrapper-door. “Mr. Soibofaa, this one that you have become ojuju, it is better I give you quit notice…” Soibifaa loo
ks at Papa, confounded. Emeka is hesitant at first, takes a deep breath then walks towards the bathroom with disguised confidence carrying his bucket of water. As the sponge and soap case dance to the rhythm of the unsettled water in Emeka’s bucket, other
tenants look at Emeka in silence. “Ol boy, over confidence dey kill o” one tenant says. Emeka stops in his track, confused. “If dis toilet no dry, I no go bath. I no go let AIDS con’ catch me” Emeka assures himself. On realizing the cause of this
show of shame, Soibifaa curses the tenants. “So it is a crime to fall sick…Papa landlord, you are closer to contracting AIDS o, it is you who pi
ck prostitutes…in anger Papa slaps Soibifaa then draws him closer by the towel. While the broil continues, tenants try to pacify the fighters especially Papa. The landlord bellows, “tell the ojuju to leave my house”. Soibifaa is close to tears but very adamant.
Emeka who has been standin
g far apart then approaches Papa “Papa landlord, why you go take your hand touch the man?” Papa quickly dismisses Emeka’s insinuation sayi
ng he’s fortified his blood with herbal concoction therefore his blood cannot be rubbished by any stupid sickness. “Who de baf next o?” a tenant asks. Everywhere suddenly goes quiet except the sobbing of Soibifaa and the s
queaking of the bathroom. They all look in the direction of the bathroom, maybe to ascertain if it’s already dried up. Junior, a six year old boy runs through the gathering with his bare nakedness with paper, hurrying towards the bathr
oom. Before any of the waiting tenants could say a word, Junior had spread the paper on the floor and squats. Forcefully, with a torrent of
Junior’s eye lashes that instantly let out tears, a rope of brownish yellow line emerges from his anus; Junior’s first rope of poo. He heaves a sigh of relief.
Just as Junior is pumping to release the second rope, “Ah, Junior don enter AIDS go shit…!” Baba Junior who has also been part of the queue yells in horror. Emeka is horrified, he makes effo
rt to get Junior out but could not move near the bathroom. Junior’s penis goes turgid again signifying the approach of urine. The urine jumps out i
n torrent as Junior drops a second rope. “O gbo ni…?! Junior, boo ta nbe yen! Boo ta!” Baba Junior bellows instruction at a distance. Confused Junior obeys the father’s instruction. As Junior approaches the tenants, Emeka was the first to run. “Saa duro n
be yen…!”Baba Junior commands again. Junior is standing naked with some poo hanging between his buttocks; no one knows what to do or how to do it. Then Papa advices Baba Junior to get hot water to wash Junior, maybe it will help. Baba Ju
nior runs into the corridor and emerges with smoking hot water. From a distance, he begins to splash Junior with the hot water but it was on the fir
st splash that Junior yelled to high heavens. A brownish Junior suddenly turns red.
Just then, a yell runs through the corridor of the house until it appears at the backyard; she’s Soibifaa’s newly married wife,
Anne. “Nothing to fear my husband, the result is negative, we are negative…!” she flashes the medical report. The environment goes silent except the red Junior who is still panting from pain and the squeaking of the bathroom.

Makinde Adeniran.


